FINDING GOD IN THE EMPTY SEATS

from Matt Woodburn

and the Central Region

Over a decade ago, Katie and I planted our first church. That was the beginning of a journey. The mission and vision of that church revolved around a simple idea: “God hates religion.” I was confident. I was cocky. I felt a new church was needed because everyone else was doing it wrong. I was in love with the organization we were starting, and in love with its confrontational message.

We launched, and hundreds came. It seemed easy. The growth of the church and my personal worth became one and the same. No matter how fast our church grew in attendance, I felt the need to exaggerate our numbers to my peers. No matter how many services or ministries we started, I took credit. There were real victories, and people came to Jesus and were baptized. But my identity was found in the number of people in the seats.

My world came crashing down when the church leadership was made aware of decisions I had made that disqualified me from ministry. I stepped down. God was gracious to the church. A large church in the area accepted our church as one of their campuses. Although much can be said of this period of my life, I will surrender the truth that my view of ministry was a symptom of the deeper issues in my life. It seemed our journey in vocational ministry had, and should, come to an end. God had a different plan.

The next part of our journey began. I submitted to ministry leaders and professionals in a process of restoration over the course of two years. This process was about spiritual and emotional healing, not a hoop to jump through to return to ministry. After the conclusion of that process, I spent the next four years working odd jobs and praying through God’s plan for my life. Surprisingly, my wife and I began to feel God calling us back into ministry. With counsel from other leaders and pastors, we began to explore options for me to serve a local church.

It was both clear and confusing when we felt that God was calling us to plant another church. We moved to Indiana to plant a church that would lead Southwest Fort Wayne in the ways of the Gospel, and to have a deeper understanding of Jesus Christ. With the clarity of my call, my confidence began to rise. We did what we had done before, connected to a larger church, raised money, built a launch team, and did large-scale outreaches in our target area. The formula was in place. We launched on the 14th of November. I was concerned with the opening numbers of the church. Several weeks following the launch, I found myself preaching to an almost empty room.

Seeing those empty seats did two things. First, it scared me to death. Is this what it is like to pastor a small church? What am I doing wrong? How could the outcome be so different from the last time we planted? Second, those empty chairs began to point out an area of my pastoral relationship with God that still needed work. Was I called to do this, or had I misunderstood God? After much prayer, the answer still remained the same. I was called to start this church, and to pastor this church. My call was not dependent on attendance or accolade. My call was to serve the church through discipling those that were there, and desperately praying for those still to come.

I am wired as a problem solver and work well under stress. Tweaks and changes can always be made to bring more people in the door. As of now, looking toward Easter, we are a church that is hitting budget, supporting three part-time staff, and hungry to reach the people of Southwest Fort Wayne. Our congregation is small, but passionate. We are made up of parents, teachers, musicians, and friends. More importantly, we have people in our small congregation that didn’t know, or care, about a relationship with Jesus 12 weeks ago, who are now hungry to know him more and more. I have no doubt God will grow our ministry, but I am grateful for this time of empty seats. I am so proud of our church.

Pastors, our journeys never end. Many times, for good or bad, those journeys are played out more publicly than we would wish, and not just confined to the congregations we serve. Many times we see the moving of God in seats being filled, budgets increasing, and people being baptized. God is responsible for those things. I experienced all of that. God did it despite me. God used me when I was doing everything I could to make myself unusable. After my departure from ministry, I had six long years to work through what I thought were the deepest issues of my life. The fall was hard, but nothing could teach me the lesson that I found in the empty seats. While full auditoriums may teach gratitude, rooms with empty seats teach obedience. My journey is far from done. I hope and pray that, when the room is once again full, I am reminded that it is only by God’s forgiveness, mercy, and grace that I am able to teach the Bible and serve the people of God. Whatever season your church may currently be in, I challenge you to find God in the empty seats!